My apologies. I have been MIA on here for a very very long time. I have wanted to write about so many things but never took the time to actually write and publish them. Lots of fun things happened over the summer! But as of a few days ago my summer fun is over and I am now back home with the family. And today, though it is nice and sunny outside, I have gone from feeling super high to inexplicably low (ok, only partially inexplicable) to now feeling ok. And I’m really focusing on the light in my hand.
Sometimes I wonder if I am bipolar, suffer from slight depression or have some chemical imbalance or something because my mood can change so quickly and easily. Many a time just hearing a song results in a drastic mood shift. Actually, my ability to be emotionally influenced by songs, movies, books, quotes or works of art is a bit embarrassing. At the very least I must be a bit hyper sensitive or something, though I don’t show it to most people.
Today, a song was only partially responsible for my mood shift to feeling sad. I had a great morning leading into afternoon. was feeling so appreciative for all I had in life. Thankful for the new people I met earlier and had fun at the activity I did in the morning. But then I got home and it all went downhill.
So yeah, um, maybe a big part of my down mood came from my troubles with being home and being thrust back into troubling family issues. Thank goodness for my sister. She noticed my sad mood and tried to get me out of it. We had a good long chat about TV shows and fun stuff. She was definitely responsible for my mood going back up to ok levels.
I feel bad for feeling bad. Especially when my life is going well. Well, well enough. I am doing well professionally. I’ve got my family. Been having a good time with friends. Still single – but that is my general stats quo so, except for a brief period there, that fact doesn’t usually make me depressed. Yet, I can’t seem to help feeling sad sometimes.
The lyrics in my head this afternoon were “It’s been a while since I’ve gone and fucked things up just like I always do…Why must I feel this way?”
God, I’m so sorry my first post back is so depressing. I meant for it to be witty and upbeat and I had a couple good stories to tell. But no. Here I am with The Depression Chronicles. Forgive me. I will try to do a more upbeat post next time. Hopefully, it won’t take me months and months again!