I know why the caged bird sings.

The History

Hi everyone. Call me Tiffany. Some people know me from a blog I used to write when I was trying to figure out whether or not I was bicurious, bi or lesbian. The only thing I knew for certain when I started writing that blog was that I was SO not straight!

When I started writing that original So Not Straight blog I was a 28-year old church-going, Christian, virgin from one of the most homophobic countries in the world. I had also only ever had my first kiss less than a year prior. In addition, the wheels that led to me questioning my sexuality were only set in motion a little over a year prior to writing my first post. Shortly after those wheels started trying to turn, I left my home and close-knit family and moved to the US for grad school, where I had opportunity to more deeply question myself. And that’s when shit started to hit the fan. Please excuse my language. One of the lovely consequences of writing that blog is that, while I still hardly ever curse out loud, I curse MUCH more freely in writing now…

Anyways, where was I? Oh ye…Shit started to get real when the confusion came in. It felt like my world was crashing in on me. So I turned to doing what I always revert to doing when under extreme stress: I turned inward, thought about my feelings even more than usual and started writing about them. That time I chose to make my thoughts public. In a blog.

Writing that blog was a big help to me personally, someone who loves to write out her feelings. However, it wasn’t just the catharsis of writing that helped…

Within a few months, the blog was getting over 1,000 unique views per month, although I only wrote about 6 posts per month. By the time I stopped writing regularly I had almost 200 followers. It might not seem like a lot to you. But that’s 200 people who thought my lengthy, verbose posts interesting enough that they clicked the Follow button on a site that works best for short, photo-heavy posts. I also received many anonymous and other messages from others who were going through similar things or who wanted to encourage me. That was what helped me even more. Knowing that there were people reading along, following me through my ups and downs made me feel less alone in my real-life world where I had no queer friends and no one knew I liked women.

Over the course of the year in which I wrote regularly on the blog, I determined for certain that I liked women,  I went to LGBTQ and other queer gatherings, I came out to other queer folk as well as a few friends and family members, I made some peace with my religion and my sexuality, I had my first real relationship (it was with a woman and I was 28 years old!) and I quite probably experienced my first heartbreak. I also actually made a couple good friends who were readers of the blog. All of that happened in the span of a little under a year!

I basically figured out who I was, sexuality-wise anyways. I like women a whole lot more than men but I like men too. Getting more specific than that no longer mattered much to me. I didn’t feel the need to label myself as bi or lesbian. I decided to go by the label queer. I am queer! This revelation led to me deciding to stop writing the blog. Because I felt it had served its purpose for me.

Then Why Start Up Another Queer Blog?

The problem is that I truly LOVE writing. I do it all the time. In my head, on paper or in a password-protected file on my laptop. It’s now been about 6 months since I decided to stop writing for that original blog. Funny enough, I find myself in the great position of being unemployed, with seemingly no end in sight. So I figured that doing a blog would be a productive way to spend some of my otherwise fulfilling, job-searching hours. I could have my overqualified, oft underpaid arse using my two degrees to do something I truly love, for a change!

I also think that one thing lacking among the great lesbian/bi friendly blogs is posts catered towards women who are closeted. Yes, I wish I could be out and proud to everyone, everywhere, all the time. But the fact is that I can’t. And neither can some people. For some of them it is not without risking physical harm, extreme societal alienation or severe financial hardship. While we all wish we could be amazing lezzy risk-takers, some of us are not strong enough to do so. So this blog will have sections that cater to the closeted among us. Columns like Tales From The Closet and Living in Phobicland. I hope that others will read and see that they are indeed not alone in their fear and isolation. May they get encouragement from the comments of others. Hint hint.

Religion will be spoken about freely (I still consider myself a Christian), criticized when people call upon it incorrectly and lauded when others demonstrate what it is really about. I am a pop culture junkie so I will almost certainly write on occasion about LGBTQ-related things (even if only tangentially so) in the News & Culture section. And for the women like me who are trying to be brave and come out, whether for the first time, a little bit more, or little by little, I will write on coming out in the Coming Out Of My Cage posts. Then the Girls On My Mind section will be about relationships and anything else that doesn’t fit into one of the other categories I created after about 5 minutes of  thought.

Finally, anyone who read my previous blog knows that I joke my life away. So there will be fun, mischievous things like the Eye Candy section which consists of random, probably-stolen-from-Tumblr pics of hot women. I will warn you from now that it will be very subjective, based very much on my particular tastes in women. In addition, my biased ass thinks the SNS logo is pretty cool. And since I am unemployed and broke, I decided to create a SNS store to sell SNS Goodies, So Not Straight merchandise for the women and others who like cool T-shirts and who have no qualms (read: fear) about wearing a shirt which could be viewed as Pride friendly.

Alright, that was a book, as usual, from me. I’ll end my little intro here. If you are interested in submitting a post (for free of course) or if you want to advertise or send comments my way (please send comments my way!), then I would love for you to contact me.

Otherwise, thanks so much for reading! Keep visiting the site and tell your friends about it!

Cheers!

T